Rev. Robert “ Monty” Knight is a Lowcountry pastor, chaplain, writer, and marriage and family therapist with a 50 year career helping individuals and families in a variety of settings. Now, Dr. Knight has authored a collection of writings called Notes of a Pastoral Counselor: Reflections across Half a Century, published by Wipf and Stock. His previous book, published in 2009, was Balanced Living: Don’t Let Your Strength Become Your Weakness.

The word “Notes” in the title is a tell — the chapters are an informal collection of different formats, and are aimed at different readers. Knight brings to this book the accumulated wisdom of decades in both fields, ministry and counseling. In addition, he brings his whole self, often self-critical and self-revealing, but always authentic.
Many of the chapters reflect a kindly, gentle tone that the reader imagines inhabits his counseling room. Others show prophetic fire as Knight discusses current issues affecting our society, and still others are professorial in nature as he instructs the readers in matters unfamiliar to them. Always, he is a compelling storyteller.

There’s a second motivation behind this book. It’s a touching dedication to his young adult daughter, a beautiful, brilliant soul, who passed away suddenly at the age of 42. It’s clear that Knight wanted to leave something behind that memorialized her.

The arrangement of chapters is loose. Some refer to topics mostly of interest to pastoral counselors, some to those interested in Christian teachings, and others to anyone looking to deepen their faith and lead a more love-filled life. For me, a non-therapist, non-minister, the most engaging section was the reprinted sermons, preached first for the radio program Day 1.

This book has the feel of a coda for Knight, a desire for these deeply felt writings to reach a wider audience. Though the format feels more like a medley than a symphony, at this stage of his life and career, Knight has earned an ovation for his considerable body of work.

– C. Carolyn Theidke, MD
Charleston, SC

In his book, Notes of a Pastoral Counselor, Dr. Robert Marsden Knight, weaves together helpful descriptions of models of counseling with compelling stories from his own life. I loved it when I read his words, “My mom worried about me; my dad delighted in me.” (p.84) I could relate. My mother used to say to me, “You don’t know all the bad things about being a minister.” After my over forty years as an ordained minister, I know that mom was right. But the good has always outweighed the bad many times over.

After his over fifty years as a minister and a pastoral counselor, Knight has much knowledge to impart. Reflecting back to when he was in seminary in 1967, he writes, as he was taught, “Being a minister is not what you do, it is, rather, who you are.” (p.1)

I recommend this book to any minister who does initial counseling before making a referral to another counselor, as Knight directs, or to someone desiring to be a pastoral counselor. Note, Knight says he is a “Pastoral Counselor,” not a “Christian Counselor,” a title which he rejects.

“In the Bible, God is a premise, not a conclusion.” (p. 29) With his background information and guiding instructions having been shared, at the end of his book, Knight offers three sermons which he preached on the Protestant Hour, now Day 1. Carefully selected, these sermons bring to Sunday morning his own way of preaching, which again informs and guides: “The Sacred Sound of Silence”, “On Knowing Not How to Pray,” and ‘Being Saved from Whom?” I chose to read them one at a time, each spaced in between my reading of several chapters of his book.

When he writes that he learned along life’s way that “Life is a gift,” (p. 42), he points the reader’s attention ahead to the third sermon. It was my favorite of the three. As he has learned and shares about himself, he writes, “God saves us from ourselves.” (p.108) As I vacillate between worrying and delighting in this gift that is my life, may God save me!

– The Reverend Fred Clarke, D.Min., Pastor
First Christian Church, Charleston, SC

I just finished reading The Reverend Dr. Monty Knight’s book about his over 50-year career as a pastoral counselor. He is part of the first generation of pastoral counselors and mental health professionals who preceded the licensed counseling movement highlighted by Virginia, who was the first state to license counselors in 1976.

He is a Fellow in the American Association of Pastoral Counselors, LPC Supervisor and LMFT Supervisor in South Carolina. He is also a clinical fellow and approved supervisor for AAMFT.

In this book, he spends time reflecting on the goodness of modern social sciences and the integration of good Christian theology. He even has a chapter where he discusses the controversial title, “Christian Counselor.” Knight does not hold back on his conviction that a pastoral counselor needs both good theology and good theory and integration of oneself and one’s knowledge of counseling theories such as Family Systems, Replacement Therapy, Sensing vs. Intuition, Grieving, and Ethics. He states emphatically that Process overrides Content in the counselor-patient therapeutic relationship. He believes that Anxiety and Reactivity must be understood and managed by the patient (client) if the client is ever going to find relief and comfort in his troubles and personhood.

To my delight I greatly enjoyed Dr. Knight’s three printed sermons in the back of the book, followed by a hymn he penned in 1993 on the topic of “God Give Us Faith” to the tune of Hyfrydol. His sermons are truly food for the soul, or in this case any reader who does counseling or works as a pastoral counselor. He tackles the topics of God speaking via silence, God teaching us how to pray without words, and God saving us from ourselves. It’s a trifecta of sermons that are poetic, smooth, spiritually nourishing, pastoral, and most importantly comforting, guiding, and sustaining like a good pastoral counselor will do.

I am one lucky person. Dr. Knight is a mentor, a friend, a colleague, and a fellow Christian pilgrim in service to God and humanity. Reading about Dr. Knight’s own tragic death of his 42-year-old daughter’s untimely death truly humanizes him even more. Then, his reflections on his overly anxious mother and his father’s pride in his son make the book personal yet instructional. In the book Monty says he is too focused on himself at times, and he unnecessarily seeks the accolades of others more than is considered reasonable. But it is in his confession that Dr Knight connects with others in this book where he discusses “Who is God?” and the basics of “Marriage Counseling.”

I highly recommend this book to pastors, social workers, chaplains, pastoral counselors, marriage and family therapists, and licensed professional counselors. It will hone your counseling theories on Systems Theory, Marriage Counseling, Biblical Interpretation, and Defining Pastoral Counselor/Counseling. You will be delightfully thankful after reading the book and you will be challenged to think about one’s inward life versus one’s outward life. This book will educate, inform, challenge, and help you question your counselor ethics. We need more pastoral counselors to write similar reflections so that younger counselors have good guides to lead others forward into a well-integrated personhood and clinical practice.

– Rev. George M. Rossi, LPC/A M.Div. M.A. RBCC

In Balanced Living Robert Marsden Knight draws upon the breadth of his reading, study and considerable experience as a pastor, therapist and teacher and provides the reader with valuable information and timely wisdom which can be of great benefit… Fortunately, I was able to read this text while stranded in snowbound airports for two days. With the author’s help, I came to regard even this weather induced delay a providential break for reading and reflection, a needed and healthy balance in my own life…
– The Reverend Dr. Daniel Massie, Senior Minister First Scots (Presbyterian) Church Charleston, SC

Balanced Living walks a wobbly line between textbook and self-help book. It is ideally suited for supplementary reading in counseling or equally at home in psychology, theology or interpersonal communication courses. It is a valuable resource for anyone who wishes to understand him or herself better, or for managers who want to understand employees better. Dr. Knight’s chapter “Balanced Religion,” and his section on “Theological Reflections” rise to a high point of expression. His treatment of the biblical concept of “grace” is without a doubt the clearest and most encompassing I have read. It is clear that his concept of grace undergirds his approach to pastoral counseling, pastoral care, and the training of future counselors. His understanding of grace is inseparable from who he is and it permeates his writing.
– C. Mitchell Carnell, Ph.D. Director Emeritus Charleston (SC) Speech & Hearing Clinic

Dr. Knight uses his experiences to teach and pass on his wisdom, values and skills for future generations of counselors and marriage and family therapists. Reading his text gave me a window of opportunity to learn from the clinician, therapist, teacher, consultant, supervisor, and pastor regarding his knowledge and years of experience in working with families. His personal self disclosure brings the family metaphors and personal situations alive. I found this book challenging and enlightening…

– Sallie Campbell, LISW MUSC Dept of Psychiatry Past President, SCAMFT

The considerable breadth of Knight’s experience enhances his ability to draw from many fields: he deftly interlaces his vast experience with an impressive array of references to seminal works in numerous fields. I believe this book will hold great appeal to knowledgeable lay people who are engaged in the quest for balance and good mental health in their lives. But it should appeal not only to them. As a former Presbyterian pastor and university administrator who is once again a medical school professor, I can testify that many who labor in the vineyard of human service, helping others find physical and mental health, are themselves in need of such health. For all these people – both lay and professionals — I recommend Robert Marsden Knight’s Balanced Living
– Andrew A. Sorenson, Ph.D. President Emeritus The University of South Carolina

I hear in Monty’s book the influence of his church, as well as his systems approach to therapy. There is plain talk to the therapist here. This book is a delight for seasoned counselor educators, practicing psychotherapists, students, and all who work in the helping professions.

– Jack L. Shortridge, Ed. D. State Counseling Director Webster University Charleston, SC